Kanye 'harassing' Kim: experts reveal tips for dealing with an ex's online bullying

'A trigger is only a trigger if you let it be," says Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo

 Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West attend the 2020 Vanity Fair Oscar Party hosted by Radhika Jones at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on February 09, 2020 in Beverly Hills, California
(Image credit: Rich Fury / VF20 / Getty)

When it comes to Kanye "harassing" Kim on Instagram (and beyond), the drama is seemingly never-ending.

Whether or not you keep up with the Kardashians, you've likely heard that the reality star and SKIMS founder is the target of her estranged husband's offensive online behavior—and she's certainly not alone. 

We've all wondered, "Should you unfriend your ex on social media?" but these actions take real and virtual breakups to a new, alarming level. Here's what's going on with the famous duo and how to protect yourself should you be in a similar situation.



Why is Kanye harassing Kim on social media?

In a series of now-deleted Instagram posts, the "Donda" rapper has criticized his ex for allowing their eldest daughter, North (age 8), to use TikTok. Subsequently, he set his sights on Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson with a slew of vulgar remarks directed at the SNL funnyman. Then, he even posted alleged private text messages between himself and the new couple, which state Kardashian's concern for Davidson's safety. 

"There are dangerous people out there and this is scary and it doesn’t have to be," she allegedly wrote, according to Kanye's post. 

The musician has admitted he was in the wrong and said: "I know sharing screenshots was jarring and came off as harassing Kim. I take accountability. I'm still learning in real-time. I don't have all the answers."

But the apology was short-lived, as another targeted (and now deleted) post surfaced stating: "Stop telling fathers they should have fought harder to see their children & start asking mothers why he had to fight at all."

Kardashian took to Instagram to share her side of the story in a lengthy message, part of which read, "Divorce is difficult enough on our children and Kanye's obsession with trying to control and manipulate our situation so negatively and publicly is only causing further pain for all."

How to avoid an ex harassing you online

It might be hard to relate to the famous family, but Kardashian is not alone in dealing with hurtful remarks from a former love on a public scale. Social media might have the power to create brands, but as quickly as users can gain likes, their reputations can be tarnished with negative accusations. 

For some, being authentic on social media means airing out dirty laundry: disagreements, accusations and all. So how do you deal with it? How do you confront an ex who's out for revenge via newsfeeds?

"Don't give a rebuttal," says Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo (opens in new tab), Ph.D. "That puts alcohol in the fire because the person wants to see you upset. Even though it's painful, try to depersonalize. A trigger is only a trigger if you let it be."

It's not easy to take hurtful remarks with a grain of salt, but it's necessary. Sometimes it even requires further action, should the situation be direr.

"Seek social support from trusted family and friends; consider taking a break from online activity," Dr. Chris Barry, a professor in the Department of Psychology at Washington State University recommends. "If the behavior crosses a line into threats, harassment [or] bullying, contact law enforcement and/or the online application on which the behavior occurred."

When safety is a factor, it's important to separate yourself from the relationship you once considered loving, though it might seem like an impossible step. 

"Even if you still have feelings there and you’re scared that telling someone could change things, you must put yourself first," says James Thomas, relationship expert at Condoms.uk (opens in new tab). "Never confront them alone and always keep evidence of screenshots in case you need them further down the line. It can be an emotional battle between heart and head, but keeping yourself safe is the most important factor."

Stay safe in the social-sharing world, folks, regardless of who you're interacting with.

Danielle is a writer for woman&home and My Imperfect Life, covering all-things news, lifestyle and entertainment. 


The heart of her time at Future has been devoted to My Imperfect Life, where she's been attuned to the cosmos and honed in on astrology coverage within the Life vertical. She's partial to writing pieces about the next big TV obsession—anyone else impatiently waiting for "Conversations with Friends"—and keeping you up to date on new trends like the latest must-have from Zara. 


Before her time at Future, Danielle was the editor of Time Out New York Kids and a news editor at Elite Daily. Her work has also appeared in Domino, Chowhound, amNewYork and Newsday, among other outlets. 


When Danielle is not working, you can usually find her reading a new book, coffee at hand, or attempting a new recipe. (Recommendations always welcome!)