Why do I keep dreaming about my ex? An astrologer's guide to breaking the cycle

Wondering, 'Why do I keep dreaming about my ex?' Relax—it's totally normal!

 woman having headache while she lying on bed, why do I keep dreaming about my ex
(Image credit: Getty Images / Boy_Anupong)

Is your REM cycle out of whack? Don't blame the pillows—sometimes thoughts of a certain someone are responsible for those restless nights. If you find yourself wondering, "Why do I keep dreaming about my ex?!" you are certainly not alone. 

"I think it's super common to remain psychically tied to someone, even after a breakup has occurred," says psychic and astrologer Renée Watt (opens in new tab). "Sometimes an ex will pop into your dream if you've been thinking about them recently, or even if they've been thinking about you."

If you're starting to become paralyzed with fear that you may still be harboring feelings for a previous S.O, or if you're questioning your current relationship, those closely connected to the cosmos believe these dreams (or nightmares, depending on how you're looking at them) are all part of the journey. (But do snag some crystals for anxiety if you're feeling super uptight about the situation!) 

"Astral realm visitations from an ex can also be one way your subconscious seeks closure from the relationship," Watt adds. 

But sometimes we're responsible for our innermost thoughts, even if we don't realize it. It's all about being mindful of what we're doing when we're not tucked in for the night. 

"If you've been spending time thinking about them, stalking their social media profiles, etc., you are still investing in your psychic energetic connection," says astrologer Stephanie Powell (opens in new tab). "This energy resides in your subconscious and can come out via dreams."

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Whether or not you're still snooping around your ex's feed or just want to feel some type of harmony after your split, chances are you'd prefer to stop entertaining thoughts about him or her entirely. Get ready to tune into the universe and set yourself free. 

"A great way for people to stop dreaming about their exes is to practice cord-cutting meditations," says Powell. "This is a type of guided meditation that walks you through envisioning the psychic cord that still connects you two with strong emotions and describes how to mentally visualize you cutting the cord to end the connection."

Do note that this doesn't necessarily happen overnight (like those dreams), but get into the habit of regularly meditating in order to move past those feelings and yearning for the past. And when those actions don't seem to be doing the trick, take things up a notch.

"You may want to look around your space to see what items of theirs are still around. A purge of anything they used to own or gave you is a great way to remove their energy from your realm," Watt says. Performing a smoke cleansing would also be a good idea. (You can find the perfect kit for such an undertaking on Watt's online shop (opens in new tab).) 

Now the big Q: Do I tell my partner about these dreams? This conundrum is quite common—and the basis for one of Netflix's raunchiest new titles, Sex/Life, which is based on a true story. 

See? You're not alone! But this doesn't mean you need to struggle and go through some craziness like Sex/Life's Billie just because of a little dream.

"Sometimes our subconscious takes longer to process and work things out, and I don't think it's necessary to stir the pot and possibly alarm a current S.O.," Powell says. 

While at times the thoughts may be unsettling, rest assured that it's universal. 

Danielle Valente

Danielle is a writer for woman&home and My Imperfect Life, covering all-things news, lifestyle and entertainment. 

The heart of her time at Future has been devoted to My Imperfect Life, where she's been attuned to the cosmos, new TV shows and relationship trends.  

Before her time at Future, Danielle was the editor of Time Out New York Kids and a news editor at Elite Daily. Her work has also appeared in Domino, Chowhound, amNewYork and Newsday, among other outlets. 

When Danielle is not working, you can usually find her reading a book, coffee at hand, or attempting a new recipe. (Recommendations always welcome!)