Why do I keep dreaming about my ex? An astrologer's guide to breaking the cycle

If you're mad at your subconscious and wondering, 'Why do I keep dreaming about my ex?' relax—it's totally normal!

Why do I keep dreaming about my ex? Pictured: Women in bed, can't sleep
(Image credit: Getty)

Is your REM cycle out of whack? Has the worry 'Why do I keep dreaming about my ex?' started to affect your nightly sleep? 

Caring about your ex, of course, is natural. And we've spent many a night wondering if we should stay friends with an ex. But if a former partner has been unexpectedly infringing on your dreams, you're certainly not alone. 

"I think it's super common to remain psychically tied to someone, even after a breakup has occurred," says psychic and astrologer Renée Watt. "Sometimes an ex will pop into your dream if you've been thinking about them recently, or even if they've been thinking about you."

But if you want to delve deeper into not only why that old flame is burning bright in your subconscious but also how to stop those unwanted cameos, our astrology pros are here to guide you through it all. 

Why do I keep dreaming about my ex?

If you're starting to become paralyzed with fear that you may still be harboring feelings for a previous S.O, or if you're questioning your current relationship, those closely connected to the cosmos believe these dreams (or nightmares, depending on how you're looking at them) are all part of the journey. (But do snag some crystals for anxiety if you're feeling super uptight about the situation!) 

"Astral realm visitations from an ex can also be one way your subconscious seeks closure from the relationship," Watt adds. 

But sometimes we're responsible for our innermost thoughts, even if we don't realize it. It's all about being mindful of what we're doing when we're not tucked in for the night. 

"If you've been spending time thinking about them, stalking their social media profiles, etc., you are still investing in your psychic energetic connection," says astrologer Stephanie Powell. "This energy resides in your subconscious and can come out via dreams."

How to stop dreaming about your ex

Whether or not you're still snooping around your ex's feed or just want to feel some type of harmony after your split, chances are you'd prefer to stop entertaining thoughts about him or her entirely. Get ready to tune into the universe and set yourself free. 

"A great way for people to stop dreaming about their exes is to practice cord-cutting meditations," says Powell. "This is a type of guided meditation that walks you through envisioning the psychic cord that still connects you two with strong emotions and describes how to mentally visualize you cutting the cord to end the connection."

Do note that this doesn't necessarily happen overnight (like those dreams), but get into the habit of regularly meditating in order to move past those feelings and yearning for the past. And when those actions don't seem to be doing the trick, take things up a notch.

"You may want to look around your space to see what items of theirs are still around. A purge of anything they used to own or gave you is a great way to remove their energy from your realm," Watt says. Performing a smoke cleansing would also be a good idea. (You can find the perfect kit for such an undertaking on Watt's online shop.) 

Now the big Q: 'Do I tell my partner about these dreams?' 

"Sometimes our subconscious takes longer to process and work things out, and I don't think it's necessary to stir the pot and possibly alarm a current S.O.," Powell says. 

While at times the thoughts may be unsettling, rest assured that it's universal!

Danielle Valente
Digital News Writer

Need a TV show recommendation? Maybe a few decor tips? Danielle, a digital news writer at Future, has you covered. Her work appears throughout the company’s lifestyle brands, including My Imperfect Life, Real Homes, and woman&home. Mainly, her time is spent at My Imperfect Life, where she’s attuned to the latest entertainment trends and dating advice for Gen Z.

Before her time at Future, Danielle was the editor of Time Out New York Kids, where she got to experience the best of the city from the point of view of its littlest residents. Before that, she was a news editor at Elite Daily. Her work has also appeared in Domino, Chowhound, and amNewYork, to name a few. 

When Danielle’s not writing, you can find her testing out a new recipe, reading a book (suggestions always welcome), or rearranging the furniture in her apartment…again.