These are the warning signs you should break up, according to dating coaches
We're told what to do after a relationship ends, but what about *before*?
We don't have a crystal ball—or do we?!—but we've learned to spot a few breakup warning signs that spell trouble in the making.
Women are often told what to do after a split: listen to empowering breakup songs, find solace in your favorite self-care practices, but what about before?
We spoke to relationship experts and rounded up concerning behaviors that might cause you to reevaluate where you stand with your partner. While only you can determine the fate of your relationship, these metaphorical red flags should not go unnoticed.
Breakup warning signs to spot, according to relationship experts
Experts say these traits are the ones that have raised eyebrows, and at times, often lead to couples parting ways. (That's why they insist this is the one thing you have to do after a breakup.)
1. They love bomb
Love bomb cycles prove you're dating a narcissist, according to sex and dating expert Pippa Murphy, and that can come with challenges.
"They go from totally love bombing you, then something will set them off and they become extremely nasty, even abusive, saying things that really hurt and make you question how good a person you are, then soon after they switch back to love bombing you, so you forget how nasty and hurtful they were," she says.
Don't let bad behavior go unpunished. It's normal to have disagreements, but if they continually treat you poorly and try to make up for it with kind words—and no actions to back up the "I'm sorry"—it's time to have a think about the value this partnership brings into your life.
Pippa Murphy is a sex and relationship expert at condoms.uk which provides access to safe and trusted brands within the sexual health industry, as well as information about your sex health.
2. You feel anxious
"One red flag to be aware of is if you feel anxious or exhausted after hanging out," says Maria Sullivan, a dating expert and the vice president of Dating.com.
You should look forward to spending time with the one you love, but if you start to dread get-togethers and look for ways to get out of a date, there might be a reason why. Sullivan said the D-word—a.k.a. "dread"—is a telltale sign that things are in trouble and need to be altered.
Maria Sullivan is a dating expert and the vice president of Dating.com.
3. You're not staying true to yourself
You should be able to embrace all parts of yourself when you're with the right person, and if you're starting to feel like your partner is making you a little less, well, you, it's a red flag.
"It’s all about how you feel when you are with them," says dating coach Rikki Dymond. "In a good relationship (platonic or romantic), you should feel happy, open, free, and like the truest version of yourself."
Rikki Dymond is a dating coach and Flirtini dating expert. Her mission is to "help women reconnect with themselves and use their natural feminine energy to bring forward mature and lasting love."
4. There's always drama
Every partnership has its ups and downs, but if you're starting to feel like your relationship is turning into an episode of a reality show, you're going to need to put on the breaks.
"Whilst passion can be a good thing and kickstart your relationship off with an instant connection, if these feelings are intensified throughout the relationship, it may lead to drama," Pippa says.
5. You don't communicate well
The only way you can progress in a relationship is through honesty, but if one party cannot effectively get their emotions across, there's a roadblock that needs addressing.
"Where discussions end in arguments or one partner (or both) feeling they’re not understood this can close down or make one or both partners wary of future communications," Pippa explains. "Ultimately partners can stop talking to each other about big things and just fill in how they think each other is feeling."
Never assume folks, especially when you're with your other half.
6. There's a need for control
While being a team is amazing, everyone deserves some alone time. Everyone needs to do what makes them whole, without someone hovering over them.
"An unusual need or even craving for control and power is when things can turn toxic, abusive, and manipulative," Pippa says. "It indicates unsolved traumas and inner issues that are very problematic for the person dealing with them but also the people and beings around that person."
On the flip side, here are all the dating green flags that make relationships strong.
Danielle is a writer for woman&home and My Imperfect Life, covering all-things news, lifestyle and entertainment.
The heart of her time at Future has been devoted to My Imperfect Life, where she's been attuned to the cosmos, new TV shows and relationship trends.
Before her time at Future, Danielle was the editor of Time Out New York Kids and a news editor at Elite Daily. Her work has also appeared in Domino, Chowhound, amNewYork and Newsday, among other outlets.
When Danielle is not working, you can usually find her reading a book, coffee at hand, or attempting a new recipe. (Recommendations always welcome!)
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