This is the secret to having really good sex, according to a doctor

Well, this is something we can definitely get on board with

Kristin Davis and Sarah Jessica Parker during Kristin Davis and Sarah Jessica Parker on Location For "Sex and the City" on May 08, 2001 at Central Park in New York City, New York, United States.
(Image credit: Photo by Tom Kingston/WireImage)

Wellness and sex go hand in hand, as we all know orgasms can be a very effective form of self-care. But getting to the place where sex is really good or figuring out how to reset your sex life can seem like a long road. Until now that is because Dr. Britney Blair has given us the secret to great sex—and it’s simpler than you think.

Dr. Blair, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of the Lover app says that masturbation is really the key to start having better sex—both solo and with other people.

She said: “The secret to having really good sex is learning to have really good sex with yourself.” 

Lover conducted a study that found 32% of women surveyed think masturbation is a form of self-care—and we couldn’t agree more. You can have incredible solo sex with the best hands-free vibrators, a lazy girl's best friend, the best app-controlled vibrators, or try out mutual masturbation.

woman holding a sex toy in bed

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The options are endless and research suggests masturbation is one of the top turn-ons. Over half of the women surveyed (60%) said they wanted to try mutual masturbation. Clitoral vibrators are also the nation's favorite type of toy, but let’s not forget hands—which are also way up there on the list. 

However, Lover also found that around half of women still feel like masturbation is still taboo, and don’t talk about it with their partners or friends. 

Dr. Blair says: “Masturbation is an incredibly powerful way to optimize your sexual health by helping you unlearn unhelpful habits and replace them with ones that will get you closer to the sexual experiences you want.”

Blair also said: “The secret to having really good sex is learning to have really good sex with yourself, I  recommend exploring your own body to learn what you really love. You can use your hands, oils, sex toys, props, water, and anything else your imagination can dream up. The best way to ramp up your sexual pleasure with a partner is to first know what works for your body.”

women embracing

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She continued: “In order to ensure your body does not “habituate” to the same type of stimulation (e.g heavy-duty vibration), try something new...regularly. Use different types of touch, different rhythms, and different positions.”

She also suggested the TTP method to try, if you’re looking for a place to start with your masturbation or feel like you’re in a rut. 

  What is TTP?

TTP stands for temperature, texture, and pressure method. Dr Blair says: “Whenever you get distracted during sex, pick one of TTP and focus on your experience of that sensation. It’s a quick and easy way to drop away from your racing thoughts and back into the sensations in your body.”

She continued: “Of course, practice makes perfect. Try it out during solo sex and notice not only the sensations in your body but how your overall experience shifts towards pleasure. When you’re more used to it, try it out during partnered sex, too. You might be surprised at how different sex and connection feel when you’re more present.”

Naomi Jamieson
Lifestyle News Writer

Naomi is a Lifestyle News Writer with the Women's Lifestyle team, where she covers everything from entertainment to fashion and beauty, as well as TikTok trends for Woman&Home, after previously writing for My Imperfect Life and GoodTo. Interestingly though, Naomi actually has a background in design, having studied illustration at Plymouth University but lept into the media world in 2020, after always having a passion for writing and earned her Gold Standard diploma in Journalism with the NCTJ.

Before working for Future Publishing’s Lifestyle News team, she worked in the Ad production team. Here she wrote and designed adverts on all sorts of things, which then went into print magazines across all genres. Now, when she isn’t writing articles on celebs, fashion trends, or the newest shows on Netflix, you can find her drinking copious cups of coffee, drawing and probably online shopping.