'The Ultimatum: Queer Love': where are they now? A catch-up with the couples

'It felt like her intentions again were not in the right place and not in my best interest'

The Ultimatum Queer Love: where are they now?
(Image credit: Netflix)

It's been some time since the pairs tested their love on The Ultimatum: Queer Love. Where are they now, and did they come out stronger after Netflix's trying experiment?

The JoAnna Garcia Swisher-led series saw five couples at a crossroads in their relationships. One partner had issued an ultimatum and thereafter, all partners were matched with someone new for a trial marriage. Did the cast members find a better fit with a new "spouse," or did they work their way back to the person they came with?

We encountered heartbreak, distrust, anger, tears, and, yes, excitement, too. But did anyone actually say, "I do"? Let's catch up with The Ultimatum: Queer Love couples now that the reunion has landed on Netflix. 

*Warning: spoilers ahead!*

'The Ultimatum: Queer Love': where are they now?

We know you've been busy with a certain Bravo show, but The Ultimatum: Queer Love reunion proved it could hold its own against other addicting reality TV gems. We break down the original couples who ventured onto the show uncertain about their future. Here's what happened. 

1. Xander and Vanessa

Xander Boger and Vanessa Papa became a couple after splitting up from their high school boyfriends. Though they knew each other for a considerable amount of time, they were going in different directions. Xander wanted to put down roots, but Vanessa—the troublemaker of the show—wanted anything but. 

Xander had her heart set on happily-ever-after with Vanessa, yet much to everyone's surprise, she fell in love with trial wife Yoly Rojas. At the end of the day, Xander and Vanessa were the only original couple not to get engaged. According to Netflix Tudum, they're no longer together after the reunion, and Xander alleges that Vanessa's behavior only grew more erratic when filming stopped. 

“We didn't talk all year and then she reached out to me two weeks before the reunion,” Xander told Tudum. “After the reunion, it was just like, poof, she was gone. It felt like her intentions again were not in the right place and not in my best interest.”

2. Lexi and Rae

Lexi Goldberg and Rae Cheung-Sutton were not on the same page; Lexi knew who she was and knew who she wanted: Rae. Her girlfriend? She wasn't so sure. 

Lexi paired up with Mal Wright—now considered one of her best friends—but couldn't get over the fact that Rae ended up with the season's troublemaker, Vanessa, whom Lexi believed joined the cast for fame instead of love. When Rae and Vanessa slept together, it proved to be a little too much for the OG couple to get over, even though they got engaged. But Lexi has since moved on with someone new, and Rae is quite literally moving on, planning a move from the OC to San Diego. 

"I found somebody that gives me all of the love and happiness I felt with Mal, mixed with an intimacy that we’re exploring,” Lexi told Tudum. “That’s truly what I always wanted when I knew my relationship with Rae was ending."

3. Mal and Yoly

Mal Wright and Yoly Rojas have a lot of love for one another—and do get engaged come to the end of the season—but Mal always worried that Yoly falls hard and fast—and she certainly did with Xander.

Though the couple came back to each other, they ultimately did not stay together. They're not currently speaking after their split, but there's still love for one another. 

"Yoly feels like family to me,” Mal told Tudum. “You have family, you have cousins and you have distant cousins. At the moment, we’re just two cousins going through life and trying to process this all at the same time.”

4. Tiff and Mildred

Though they were one of the more tumultuous pairings of the season, Tiff and Mildred decided to move forward in their journey; the fights, on-and-off-again statuses and drama subsided (at least temporarily). 

Ultimately, however, they did not make it and they had a very tumultuous catch-up at the reunion. An alleged physical altercation that the two had off-camera led to Tiff calling the cops and Mildred being arrested for throwing items at her fiancé. 

In the trials, Tiff matched with Sam and they ended up growing close, but more platonically. Mildred and Aussie had a pretty bad falling out and did not see eye-to-eye during their trial marriage; Mildred needed someone more upfront who didn't shut down during talks. 

5. Sam and Aussie

Sam and Aussie had communication issues but managed to work their way through it in the end. The two got engaged, and they're the only couple on the show who remains together. Aussie seemed to overcome her relationship hurdles, and she promised Sam forever with a rock—quite literally, as Sam had always talked about getting a big rock.

"We came first, and then the relationship came second,” Sam told Tudum. “If it was meant to be, then we’ll come back together, but we put everything in it for our own journeys and healing.”

Time apart proved beneficial.

All episodes of The Ultimatum: Queer Love are now available to stream on Netflix.

Danielle Valente
Digital News Writer

Need a TV show recommendation? Maybe a few decor tips? Danielle, a digital news writer at Future, has you covered. Her work appears throughout the company’s lifestyle brands, including My Imperfect Life, Real Homes, and woman&home. Mainly, her time is spent at My Imperfect Life, where she’s attuned to the latest entertainment trends and dating advice for Gen Z.

Before her time at Future, Danielle was the editor of Time Out New York Kids, where she got to experience the best of the city from the point of view of its littlest residents. Before that, she was a news editor at Elite Daily. Her work has also appeared in Domino, Chowhound, and amNewYork, to name a few. 

When Danielle’s not writing, you can find her testing out a new recipe, reading a book (suggestions always welcome), or rearranging the furniture in her apartment…again.