Sex can be amazing especially when your partner makes you feel comfortable, sexy, and knows what you like—but equally, sex can be stressful or downright dull. We can find ourselves feeling stressed bout sex and even experiencing orgasm anxiety, and we know bad sex can impact our mental and physical health—but according to psychologists, practicing mindful sex may be the answer to really care-free and intimate lovemaking.
There have been several studies on the benefits of mindful sex, and how being present in the moment can help you build intimacy with your partner, and enjoy sex more.
Psychologist and professor Laurie Mintz Ph.D. wrote in an article for Psychology Today (opens in new tab) that ‘mind wandering’ can diminish sexual pleasures and orgasms. But if you practice mindfulness you can ward off thoughts and distractions.
What is Mindful Sex?
In a nutshell, sex mindfulness means being present. You are in the moment with your partner, being intentional and aware. Noticing the sensations, feelings and not letting your mind get distracted. Between you and your partner is a safe space, where you are both focusing on each other and what you are doing.
Dr. Mintz says: “Mindful sex is when you’re totally and completely immersed in the physical sensations of your body. It doesn’t mean you’ll never have distracting thoughts. It means that you’re able to let these distracting thoughts go without getting stuck on them.”
Often with sex, there is a temptation to switch off, or it becomes so routine you can’t help your mind from wandering, but actually, if you try to focus on the sex itself, paying attention to your breathing and noticing all the movements and feelings—you may end up enjoying it more and being way more satisfied.
Mindfulness app Headspace (opens in new tab) also makes a case for practicing mindful sex, they describe it as almost incorporating meditation into the bedroom. The app says: “The mental aspect of sex is hugely important in developing and maintaining intimacy and keeping that spark of passion alight.”
Practicing mindfulness and meditation will help you reign your mind back in when it starts to drift and make you more aware and able to be in tune with the sensations and intimacy, rather than being on autopilot. You can then take it to the next level to achieve those multiple orgasms—with the best app-controlled vibrators.
Headspace goes on to explain that: “Regular meditation has also been shown to reduce the amount of cortisol in the brain, the hormone which we experience as stress”—and cortisol actually reduces the libido—“so if you lower cortisol you can actually increase libido which means you’ll want sex more.”
Though this does all sound perfect, Dr. Mintz does say it can take practice, but you will find when you start being more mindful in life and mastering the practice, you will find you are more mindful in sex, and vice versa.
Naomi is a trainee News Writer with the Women's Lifestyle team. She has a background in design, having studied Illustration at Plymouth University but has taken a leap into the world of journalism after always having a passion for writing. She currently writes pieces on fashion, wellbeing, and entertainment for GoodTo and My Imperfect Life and is training for an NCTJ Qualification.
Before working for Future Publishing’s Lifestyle News team, she worked in the Ad production team. Here she wrote and designed adverts on all sorts of things, which then went into print magazines across all genres. Now, when she isn’t writing articles on celebs, fashion trends, or the newest shows on Netflix, you can find her drinking copious cups of coffee, drawing and probably online shopping.
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