Discovering the best sex tips will always be worth your while if you want to up your bedroom satisfaction—whether alone or with a partner. While TV series, podcast shows and TikTok reels will likely have given you some helpful pointers for how to increase pleasure in the bedroom, we've headed straight to the experts for their best feel-good advice.
But first, it's important to understand that there are no precise rules when it comes to sex. Different things turn different people on—so while we all may have the same pleasure points on our bodies, what constitutes 'good sex' will vary greatly. This includes the question of how long should sex last and whether or not legs shaking after sex is the goal.
However, that's not to say there aren't some general key tips that can help you out when it comes to better sex, including using the best sex toys which are always hot stuff between the sheets. With advice for more pleasurable intercourse seemingly endless, we spoke to a group of sex experts for their most important pointers that will have you heading for an incredible climax...
The best sex tips from the experts
- Excite your senses
- Explore new arousal areas
- Slow it down
- Use sex toys
- Play around with sound and light
- Try tantric sex
1. Excite your senses in more ways than one
According to Isabelle Uren from Bedbible.com, touch isn’t the only sense that can be satisfied during sex. In fact, invigorating other senses such as smell, hearing, and sight can make the experience even more pleasurable.
"Experiment with soft dimmed lighting and your favorite sexy playlist in the background—this is something you could work on together," she says. "Use candles and wax burners to fill the air with sensual scents—rose, vanilla, and sandalwood are all smells claimed to work as aphrodisiacs. Blindfolds are commonly associated with the acts of BDSM, however, their addition can intensify your sensory experience during sex."
2. Explore arousing new areas
Like Uren's comments about the importance of exciting your senses, sex expert and writer Andy Jones says exploring new areas of your body with sensory pleasures can be a complete game-changer.
"It's crazy human beings have such basic attitudes to erogenous zones. We assume that it's basically genitals or nipples," he says. "There is incredible sensory pleasure to be found on the sides of the ribcage, on the undersides of your breasts, the backs of your elbows and knees as well as your neck and plenty of other places. Take time to explore."
3. Take it down a notch
We know that sometimes the sexual tension can be a little too much, and all you want to do is rip off each other’s clothes and get right down to it. But slowing it down a little bit can make the sex even better than you’d imagined, notes Uren.
"Slowing everything down by gazing into each other’s eyes and taking slow synchronized breaths before slowly building up to foreplay, with longer touches, kisses, strokes and licks can build an even deeper connection between you and your partner," she explains. "See how long you can make it last before giving in."
Similarly, Jones believes delaying penetration—if that's the kind of sexual activity you're building up to—can be key. "It can send both of you into ecstasy," he explains. "Instead of rushing right in, agree to hold off on penetration for as long as you both can manage it, and that includes entry for fingers and tongues. Instead, work on the edge of bliss tracing a digit, tip or tongue around every edge, hot spot or zone before diving in."
4. Sex toys aren't just for self-pleasure
Some people might think that sex toys are just for pleasuring yourself when you’re alone in your room, but that's far from the truth, says Uren. "Sex toys can be used to add even more excitement and stimulation during sex and foreplay between you and your partner," she explains.
"Shopping for them together can also be the ultimate bonding experience. Looking at all the exciting options you might find yourselves getting pretty excited for how you’re going to use them later on and even learning more about each other and what you’re into much more than you thought." (Psst: Try one of the best app-controlled vibrators for an even better experience...)
5. Play around with sound and light
Let's get one thing straight: sensory deprivation doesn't necessarily mean you're going full-on S&M. "Blindfolds, or even just backing out all light in the bedroom, can take your sensory experience up a notch," says Jones. Indeed, it is scientifically proven that reducing vision or sound can make your nerve endings more sensitive and concentrate your arousal to an even more intense degree.
6. Get tantric
"You don't have to be an expert in tantric sex to enjoy some of its basic gifts," says Jones. "Too often people approach achieving orgasm as if it's something to rush to, that unless an orgasm is reached at express speed somehow we're doing it wrong. Do it right, all night.
"Consider your arousal in grades: 0 being not aroused at all, 10 being orgasm. Ordinarily during sex, too often we sprint through 4-5-6-7-8. Instead, enjoy the sensation of being at 6-7-8. Take it slow. Bring it back. When you reach that ten, it'll be a perfect ten."
Mariana is Editor of My Imperfect Life. She has previously worked for titles including woman&home and Goodto, covering all aspects of women’s lifestyle — from beauty and fashion to wellness and travel. She was nominated for AOP Digital Journalist of the Year in 2020, and for New Digital Talent of the Year at the 2016 PPA Digital Awards. She’s mildly obsessed with reality TV (Love Island memes included) and spends far too much time checking her horoscope and figuring out the perfect curly hair routine.
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