The new Tame app makes ghosting impossible, yet people are not on board

The Tame app sounds like a dream come true if you're feeling burnt out from online dating, but why are people against it?

an illustration of a hand holding up a phone on a dating app
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The Tame app seems like a cure for dating burnout...but is it too good to be true?

Given that the new online dating service makes ghosting impossible, you'd think that hopeful romantics would be shouting from the rooftops. After all, who wants to deal with that toxicity? 

Several days after its launch, the self-described "healthy dating" alternative is seemingly doing more harm than good, according to people's reactions. Here's what you need to know. 

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What is the Tame App and how does it work?

According to the service itself, Tame (opens in new tab) "relies on pace, accountability, facilitated conversation and security to bring forth a fresh experience." (Well, it does sound kind of refreshing...)

Much like the other offerings out there, Tinder vs BumbleHinge vs Bumble, etc., users are able to upload photos and information about themselves with the hopes of finding a match. Rather than swiping, a questionnaire will lead you towards potential matches. Plus, new subscribers are vetted, so you can feel at ease knowing you won't be cat fished (hello Tinder Swindler)!

It sounds great at surface level, but when potential users decided to dig into the nitty gritty details, that's when things took a turn. What people seem to find deterring is the fact that users who are inactive after one week do not surface. (What if you were away on vacation but still want to chat?!) Plus, you're unable to browse profiles while in conversation with someone—you're only allowed to chat with one user at a time, an attempt to really give someone a shot.

While Tame seems like a way to guard our feelings and bypass the BS, people are thrown off by the lack of control.

"As single mom, this and several other “highlights” of this app are ridiculous and definitely off putting," one Instagram user wrote. "People have lives. They shouldn’t have to constantly be on a dating app just to be able to be on it."

Another chimed in with, "This sounds like a hostage situation, not gonna lie."

What now?

Though seemingly well-intentioned, Tame's stance seems to be too strict for most people involved in the online dating world. While yes, it would be great to do away with the phoniness and the hurt, the truth is, that's part of the game. The only way we can move past the upset and frustration is to change our attitude. 

Jaime Bronstein (opens in new tab), relationship expert and author of the forthcoming MAN*ifesting: A Step-by-Step Guide to Attracting the Love That Is Meant for You (opens in new tab) has a tip.  

"If you have that mindset that there is someone that is meant for you, it takes the weight off of your shoulders of feeling so chaotic," she previously told My Imperfect Life. "I teach people how to hone in on their intuition and just trust themselves."

With that, it doesn't matter what app you're using (or not using).

With this fresh mentality, coupled with REDDI (opens in new tab)'s Stacy Thomson's advice to "come from place of a duty and a place of care," here's hoping the online dating landscape will get a little easier and more thoughtful. And as for Tame, they're willing to adjust their features to more adequately suit their users, according to the app's Instagram post. Time will tell how things play out on this new service. 

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Be sure to check out all of the 2023 dating trends that are coming down the pipeline.

Danielle Valente

Danielle is a writer for woman&home and My Imperfect Life, covering all-things news, lifestyle and entertainment. 


The heart of her time at Future has been devoted to My Imperfect Life, where she's been attuned to the cosmos, new TV shows and relationship trends.  


Before her time at Future, Danielle was the editor of Time Out New York Kids and a news editor at Elite Daily. Her work has also appeared in Domino, Chowhound, amNewYork and Newsday, among other outlets. 


When Danielle is not working, you can usually find her reading a book, coffee at hand, or attempting a new recipe. (Recommendations always welcome!)