Do sexual positions and emotional investment equal intimacy?

Sexual positions and emotional investment both play a vital role in maintaining a healthy, happy relationship with your partner. Many relationships could use an agreed-upon commitment to keeping intimacy a priority—it is important to stoke those fires and desires even after the honeymoon phase.

Before we cover sexual positions, it's important to emphasize that foreplay is essential to emotional investment. Your foreplay possibilities are limitless, and it's all up to your preferences and comfort. For many, it can range from using the best app-controlled vibrators to mutual masturbation and oral sex—all sexy stay-at-home date ideas.

People often say that sex and intimacy aren't the same, but we disagree. Your sex life doesn't have to wane as the years go by. Many have found that sex with a long-term partner can be just as exciting when you explore how a combination of certain sex positions and emotional investment can bring you closer together.

That's not to say other positions should be discarded! On the contrary, you should find the right balance between sexual positions that evoke intimacy and fulfill your lust. Consider this mix of sexual positions and emotional investment tips when venturing towards a more intimate experience.

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Sex positions and emotional investment: 5 moves to try

1. Seated Lotus

If you're familiar with the Lotus yoga pose, you might already have an idea how to approach the Seated Lotus sexual position. Your partner sits with their legs crossed, and you'll position yourself on top for penetration. They'll adjust their legs comfortably underneath you while you wrap yourself around your seated partner. 

This sexual position is an excellent way to embrace, kiss, and look into each other's eyes during penetration. We suggest keeping very close and moving in slow motions to really take in each pleasurable feeling. Some people like to keep their eyes closed (which is totally fine!), but if you're up to opening your eyes and being in the moment with your partner, you will experience a heightened sense of intimacy together.

2. Modified Doggy

Doggy style is a popular position, but consider modifying it to be more passionate. Your partner is still penetrating from behind, but instead of simply holding your waist and standing or kneeling behind you (on your hands and knees), your partner is gently on top of you. Not suffocatingly so, but rather with you both at a lowered doggy angle, with both partners using their arms for support. 

We suggest using one arm for support while using the other to explore yourself and your partner or try out different types of vibrators. The top partner is at a good angle for nibbling at the neck and exploring the bottom partner's entire body. The bottom partner is a little more restricted but can link their fingers into the top partner's hand and join in on the fun. 

3. Ballet Dancer

This standing position can be very good for intimacy. Instead of standing up, facing the wall, and letting your partner penetrate from behind, consider turning around and lifting your leg around your partner's waist. It is very helpful when your partner supports your leg and waist in this position. This will bring your chests close together and encourage passionate kissing. 

The great thing about this position for intimacy is a well-balanced mix of quick and slow movements will build your emotional investment and intensity. 

Kinkly (opens in new tab) explains that the Ballet Dancer position can be great for giving the receiving partner more control over depth and angle. Also, for a more adventurous experience, they suggest that "if the receiving partner is flexible enough, they can lift their leg onto the shoulder of the other partner to allow for deeper penetration."

4. Upstanding Citizen

Heads up: this combo of sexual positions and emotional investment isn't for the faint of heart. It will take more upper body strength on the partner who's penetrating, but if you and your partner can do it, it's beyond worth it.

It's a great way to be deep and incredibly close with your partner to spark that intimacy you've been desiring. Your partner will be standing. You position yourself into penetration and wrap your legs around your partner's waist. This may initially seem difficult, but if you start on a piece of furniture, you'll be able to easily move into position with your partner's help.

5. In a Chair

Using a chair is a fun way to spice things up while being in a position similar to others. You are once again in a seated position on top of your partner, but you'll move your legs to the floor to assist in slow movements. This shouldn't be confused with reverse cowgirl, as you should stay face-to-face and close with your partner to achieve the intimacy you're seeking. Keep your chests close, your hands always exploring each other's bodies, and use slow, intentional movements.

The greatest benefit of this position is the receiver's ability to control motions and depth of penetration. There's also more room for adjustments and experimentation opportunities when exploring this sex position and adding your own spin to it. Not to mention, the chair position is excellent for its accessibility in almost every room of the house (and other places). Use a stationary chair like a kitchen chair or a desk chair so long as the latter locks into place and the arms don't get in the way. 

If you're feeling adventurous, consider some foreplay or strip teasing around the chair you plan to have sex on. 

Explore sexual positions and emotional investment

While these five moves will certainly keep you and your partner close, there are no strict guidelines when it comes to sexual positions and emotional investment. The key is to experiment and explore with your partner to find the positions and moves that speak to your relationship. 

Keep the line of communication open about likes and dislikes, and never be afraid to show your partner how you like certain things. Enjoy!