Are you crying after orgasming? Here's what's going on, according to a sexpert

'Know that it's OK to be vulnerable,' Marla Renee Stewart says about crying after orgasms

woman crying in bed with her hands in her head
(Image credit: Boy_Anupong/Getty Images)

Intimacy can be emotional, and crying after orgasms isn't necessarily unheard of. In fact, the phenomenon is pretty common—just like when we find our legs shaking after sex

Whether we're experiencing physical or physiological reactions afterwards, the deed is as wonderful as it is mysterious. If you're looking to get to the bottom of these happenings, allow a sexpert to provide the details.

Crying after orgasm—what a sexpert wants you to know

Why are we crying after orgasming?

There's no one reason why we might find ourselves shedding a few tears after an intimate encounter. 

"It can be a combination of a bunch of things," says Marla Renee Stewart (opens in new tab), MA. "Sometimes people cry after orgasm because they have an intense emotional connection or reaction, or even possibly healing. Usually it's more psychological in nature."

According to Healthline (opens in new tab), it's likely women could experience postcoital dysphoria (PCD) or postcoital tristesse (PCT), which are clinical terms for crying after sex, though orgasms are not necessarily involved. And, unsurprisingly, we could feel the blues after having sex because of unhappiness within the relationship.

"There could be a disconnection. If someone is supposed to be feeling connected and they don't that can also elicit crying after sex," Stewart adds. 

If you feel as though you and your loved one are not quite on the same page under the sheets, have a look at our expert-backed tips for how to reset your sex life

Meet the expert: Marla Renee Stewart

Marla is a sexologist at Velvet Lips and a lecturer in gender and women's studies at Clayton State University. She's also written for a variety of academic publications and presenter at conferences. Above all, her goal is to get people in touch with their body, mind and spirit.

What are the pros and cons of crying after orgasming?

There's plenty to like about the Big O—from experiencing multiple orgasms and blended orgasms, to reaping the health benefits of pleasure, including a good night's sleep and glowing skin. But even when we get a little sensitive, there's something worth appreciating. 

"[A pro] is the benefit of the release and getting all of your emotions and expressions out," Stewart says. "The cons are usually around partners and they might not know how to respond to the crying."

How to deal with crying after orgasming

Whether you're with a partner or testing out the best sex toys in your collection when to start to get a little weepy, the most important thing to realize is that you're entitled to your feelings. 

"Know that it's OK to be vulnerable," Stewart insists. 

If there's another party involved, honesty is key. Experts say talking about sex is the key to making it better, so you'll want to alert your S.O. on what you're feeling. 

"Make sure you talk to your lover about it," she adds. 

But above all, make sure you are comfortable with your emotions. 

"You might have some shame or stigma," Stewart says about reasons for crying after sex. "Being able to work through that through therapy and finding some acceptance can help." 

Danielle Valente

Danielle is a writer for woman&home and My Imperfect Life, covering all-things news, lifestyle and entertainment. 

The heart of her time at Future has been devoted to My Imperfect Life, where she's been attuned to the cosmos, new TV shows and relationship trends.  

Before her time at Future, Danielle was the editor of Time Out New York Kids and a news editor at Elite Daily. Her work has also appeared in Domino, Chowhound, amNewYork and Newsday, among other outlets. 

When Danielle is not working, you can usually find her reading a book, coffee at hand, or attempting a new recipe. (Recommendations always welcome!)