6 things to do to avoid dating burnout, according to relationship experts

It might seem challenging, but you can avoid dating burnout with a few thoughtful steps, says the pros

Bored woman waiting for her boyfriend
(Image credit: Getty)

Liking, swiping, and meeting up can get tiring, and dating burnout is definitely not unheard of. 

No matter how you find romance—"untyping," "wanderloving" and so on—remember that you're not in a race. Take a breather and don't let the dating game overwhelm you. 

Allow relationship experts to shell out some much-needed words of wisdom before you agree to that dinner date or coffee meetup.

5 ways to avoid dating burnout, according to the pros

1. Don't overbook yourself

They say "summertime and the livin' is easy" but if you fill up those 2023 planners with too many activities, you're liable to wipe yourself out. Take a breather and absorb what you learned from a potential match before rushing to meet the next one. 

"Don't overbook yourself and schedule dates with yourself in the midst of dates with others," Brenden Durell, intimacy expert on Too Hot To Handle, previously told us. "Every time you meet somebody, you have the mirror coming back to you, you learn things about yourself. So every date, even if it goes badly, you come back to yourself and that's wisdom to use for yourself. You get stronger and clearer for your next date."

If you wanted a race, try looking up the local marathons in your city. 

Brenden Durrell headshot
Brenden Durell

An intimacy expert, coach, mentor and tantra guide, Brenden Durell puts his expertise to good use while mentoring contestants on Netflix's Too Hot To Handle. A former baseball player, Brenden also works with professional athletes, celebrities, and leaders who are ready to dig deep. His advice has been featured in many publications, including Men’s HealthTantra, and Breathwork.

2. Know what you're looking for

If you want something long-term (like those trendy superbloom relationships), be up front when swiping. If an expirationship is more your thing—which is completely fine—make sure to express your needs to the people you're meeting. Not only will it weed away matches that aren't a good fit, but it'll lead you closer to the right person. 

Laurel House, a relationship expert with eharmony told us that "daters want  deep intimacy and physical and emotional vulnerability, and fun and adventure, plus calm daily mundane life experiences." 

However, Gen Z might not necessarily want all of that for the same length of time. Separate yourself from the short-term daters if it's not the space for you, and vice versa. 

eharmony logo
Laurel House

Laurel House is a relationship expert at eharmony, a dating site devoted to helping singles find real love, and more than two million subscribers have been matched.

3. Be candid

If you know what your needs are, express them. Don't cave to someone else's standards if you're compromising your own. The only way to carry out an authentic connection, regardless of how long you'd like it to last, you're going to need to be upfront.

"By communicating your needs and priorities, you are creating clarity about when they can expect going forward so that they have confidence in who you are and what they can expect from you," House said.

4. Learn how to spot toxic behavior

OK, we get it: easier said than done. When meeting new people, it's hard not to find yourself in a situation where someone—or perhaps even you—decides to try mosting, ghosting, benching, ghostlighting, etc. 

"The increasing number of dating apps and social media apps may have made it easier to connect with people, however, this means it’s even easier to disconnect from someone when things don’t work out," says Neil Dutta, the managing director at engagement ring specialist, Angelic Diamonds

When your gut tells you something is off, listen and move on.

Neil Dutta

Neil Dutta is the managing director at Angelic Diamonds, "a customer-focused jewelery company specializing in the design and manufacture of fine diamond."

5. Create balance

A relationship is one aspect of your life, not the whole thing. Be sure to make time for other loved ones, lest you be subjected to the pitfalls of the relationship effect.

"In order to create a balance, as well as instill healthy space for a budding relationship and create breathing room to think clearly, it’s best to maintain normal friend and family activities separate from your new person," House says. 

And when it comes to your career and hobbies, make time for them, too. Healthy balancing is one of the biggest dating trends of 2023, a notion that was put on our radar post-pandemic. Don't let your job outweigh your romance, or vice versa. There's enough room for everything. 

"The trend for 'love/life balance' will see career ambitions no longer top of the list," dating expert Mairead Molloy

Mairead Molloy

Having worked in the industry for 17-plus years, Mairead Molloy uses her psychology background to delve into human relationships, particularly, the know-how and skills to ask the right questions, hear the answers and so get to the heart.

6. Stay positive

Yes, the dating scene is overwhelming, but a healthy mindset is part of the process. Even when Hinge really tests your limits or Bumble seems to have a tech defect, keep moving on and know what's meant for you will find a way. Dating expert Rikki Dymond insists on it.

"With all of these dating trends that are rising, we really just need to dive deep within our own heart, know exactly what we want, need and deserve," she told My Imperfect Life. "There might be roadblocks, and that's ok. Try to take that with a grain of salt. No matter what goals we have in our life, we're going to have issues. Don't let those sidetrack you." 

Rikki Dymond
Rikki Dymond

Rikki Dymond is a dating coach and Flirtini dating expert. Her mission is to "help women reconnect with themselves and use their natural feminine energy to bring forward mature and lasting love."

Unfuck Your Intimacy: Using Science for Better Relationships, Sex, and Dating by Dr. Faith G Harper

Unfuck Your Intimacy: Using Science for Better Relationships, Sex, and Dating by Dr. Faith G Harper
$14.95 | Amazon

And when you feel like you need a little more assistance in the dating department, why not try expert advice lurking on bookshelves?

Danielle Valente
Digital News Writer

Need a TV show recommendation? Maybe a few decor tips? Danielle, a digital news writer at Future, has you covered. Her work appears throughout the company’s lifestyle brands, including My Imperfect Life, Real Homes, and woman&home. Mainly, her time is spent at My Imperfect Life, where she’s attuned to the latest entertainment trends and dating advice for Gen Z.

Before her time at Future, Danielle was the editor of Time Out New York Kids, where she got to experience the best of the city from the point of view of its littlest residents. Before that, she was a news editor at Elite Daily. Her work has also appeared in Domino, Chowhound, and amNewYork, to name a few. 

When Danielle’s not writing, you can find her testing out a new recipe, reading a book (suggestions always welcome), or rearranging the furniture in her apartment…again.