5 of the biggest orgasm myths, debunked by medical professionals

Let the pros separate fact vs. fiction when it comes to orgasm myths

a shocked woman in bed holding a pink comforter above her face
(Image credit: franz12/Getty Images)

Don't believe everything you hear: orgasm myths, like sex myths, run the gamut and have the potential to cool down your steamy interactions. 

Rather than feel stressed about sex and put the orgasm phenomenon on a pedestal, take a step back and focus on the journey instead. After all, why would you want to rush through an event just get to the finale? 

To give those misconceptions a rest, experts at Cliovana, a non-invasive treatment to help women dealing with painful sex, teamed up with Dr. Asandra, an anti-aging physician and vitality expert, to separate fact from fiction.  

5 of the biggest orgasm myths debunked:

What's the real deal and what's bogus? Allow the medical experts to fill you in. Don't get too overwhelmed by what you think you should be feeling—you'll be liable to give yourself an orgasm headache. (Yes, those are things.) 


Cliovana is "on a mission to normalize female sexual wellness." Its drug-free, non-invasive procedure uses sound wave technology to regenerate cells in the genital area. 

Dr. Christopher Asandra, MD

Dr. Asandra is an anti-aging physician and vitality expert based in California. He opened his first premier medical center for sexual health and wellness in 2013, which has since expanded to 12 US-based locations. He also provides anti-aging therapies, hormone replacement programs and sexual dysfunction treatments.

Womens naked legs in bed, lesbian sex

(Image credit: Getty)

1. Something is wrong if you don't orgasm

On the contrary, the experts revealed that roughly 30% of women have trouble orgasming. Heck, take it from Rachel Bilson, who just admitted she didn't orgasm from sex with a partner until she was 38. So to answer your question: no, there's nothing wrong with not being able to orgasm. 

This is why sexperts stand by solo exploration—it lets you know what works for your body. Plus, it's actually responsible for women's most intense orgasms, according to a study from the sexual wellness brand, Love Honey. (Psst: If you've asked, "Why can't I orgasm?" allow the pros to help with these tips and tricks.)

2. You should always orgasm in a loving relationship

The love you have for your partner does not necessarily mean you're going to feel fireworks every time you get busy. There are plenty of psychological and physical roadblocks that could potentially stand in the way of a grand finale, including childbirth, medications and self-esteem, to name just a few. 

Wellness experts insist that you should talk about sex with your partner so that the both of you feel comfortable and can potentially work through any hurdles that are thrown your way. But should you feel as though you're unable to experience what you're hoping for, never feel bad for seeking medical attention. (While we're on the topic, here's everything gynecologists want you to know—from lube questions to period red flags.) 

3. Multiple orgasms are easy to achieve

Multiple orgasms are more common than we suspected, according to a study from McGill University and the University of Montreal. However, that doesn't necessarily mean they're a guarantee. If this is something that piques your curiosity—the second is said to be more powerful than the first—try a hands-free vibrator to see what strikes your fancy.

4. Women can only orgasm through penetration

The teams from Cliovana and Dr. Asandra's office say there are plenty of ways to orgasm, including clitoral stimulation—the best clit vibrators are fan-favorites—the use of sex toys and oral sex. 

Satisfyer Pro 2 Air-Pulse Clitoris Stimulator 

Satisfyer Pro 2 Air-Pulse Clitoris Stimulator
$34.95 | Amazon

According to My Imperfect Life's tried and tested review, this sex toy uses air pressure and the help of 11 speeds to replicate oral sex.  

5. Orgasm is the end goal of sex

Experts from Cliovana and Dr. Asandra's team assure us that an orgasm isn't a requirement for a satisfying sexual experience, something we've been told several times before. After all, the increased interest in foreplay ideas prove that couples want to take their time and not rush to the end. 

"An orgasm isn’t the be-all and end-all of sex, nor does it define a sexual encounter," Annabelle Knight, a sex and relationship at Lovehoney previously told My Imperfect Life.

There's a lot of hype surrounding the Big O, but don't let the sensation—and the myths that come along with it—overwhelm you and take away from your pleasurable experience.

Danielle Valente
Digital News Writer

Need a TV show recommendation? Maybe a few decor tips? Danielle, a digital news writer at Future, has you covered. Her work appears throughout the company’s lifestyle brands, including My Imperfect Life, Real Homes, and woman&home. Mainly, her time is spent at My Imperfect Life, where she’s attuned to the latest entertainment trends and dating advice for Gen Z.

Before her time at Future, Danielle was the editor of Time Out New York Kids, where she got to experience the best of the city from the point of view of its littlest residents. Before that, she was a news editor at Elite Daily. Her work has also appeared in Domino, Chowhound, and amNewYork, to name a few. 

When Danielle’s not writing, you can find her testing out a new recipe, reading a book (suggestions always welcome), or rearranging the furniture in her apartment…again.