Worried about breaking up during Mercury retrograde? Here's why you shouldn't stress, according to astrologers

You shouldn't be breaking up during Mercury retrograde, despite what the rumors have led you to believe

sad couple in a blue spotlight looking in an opposite direction
(Image credit: Future)

We'd be lying if we said we weren't concerned about breaking up during Mercury retrograde 2023

The cosmic player tends to get the best of us and makes us anticipate the worst. Should we just prepare that playlist of breakup songs now? Is the ice cream selection in the freezer well-stocked?

Though the transit gets a bad rep, don't let the smallest planet in the solar system throw you off-kilter. Take a step back (but hang onto that Ben & Jerry's, of course). The planet rules communication, but that does not mean it's the be-all, end-all of your relationship. Let astrologers walk you through the event's ups and downs. 

Is breaking up during Mercury retrograde a thing?

Now is the time to make adjustments in your relationship, not bring it to an abrupt end—the pros insists. 

"Mercury retrograde is probably not the best time for a breakup, and that is because it’s probably a better time to introspect and reflect on your contribution to a situation or what you have learned from this place," says astrologer Noush

Ah, some reassurance! What better gift for astrology fans during this notorious transit? (We are also partial to these Mercury retrograde memes and crystals for Mercury retrograde, just FYI!)

Similarly to Noush, My Imperfect Life's in-house astrologer, Narayana Montúfar, believes this is not necessarily time to nurse a broken heart, but rather a chance to readjust aspects of your love life that might've been swept under the rug. 

"It's an opportunity to rethink certain issues you don't want to deal with," she notes. "It's hard, but the truth is we are just being challenged to find a new solution."

Headshot of astrologer Noush

A western tropical Astrologer and creative at heart, Noush believes in the combination of Astrology and spiritual energy work to bring us closer to soul alignment and divine love. Learn how to reach your souls purpose during an astrology reading with her or go on a self-directed journey of divine manifestation using the 2023 Zodiac Calendars available now!

Headshot of astrologer Narayana Montufar
Narayana Montúfar

Narayana Montúfar is an astrologer and an expert in the astrological studies of the Moon and the author of Moon Signs: Unlock Your Inner Luminary Power. She was one of Medium.com’s Authority Magazine 2020’s Strong Female Leaders and one of Vogue’s 13 Astrologers to Follow in 2021.

Since Mercury is the planet of communication, it can often make our relationships feel a little uneasy when in retrograde. Take time to think about the way you speak to a S.O. and think about what you want out of your partnership. Don't be hasty—act cautiously and kindly, even if don't feel like it. 

"This period highlights our weakness and shortcomings so that we can work on them," says Moonly's astrologer, Natasha AstroBalance. "Try to control outbreaks of pride and narcissism. It's essential to watch your words, not allow excessive egocentrism and fanaticism and to accept other people's opinions."

moonly app logo
Natasha AstroBalance

Natasha is an astrologer at Moonly, an app that "helps you cultivate rituals with a robust guide of the changing moon phases, affirmations, daily tarot, etc."

How to avoid Mercury retrograde break-ups

"Open up the doors for a different type of communication," Noush recommends. "Is there a way to communicate to our partner? Is there a way that we can better understand them?"

In addition to practicing kindness, Montúfar also suggests shedding your clothes, if it feels right, of course.

"When Mercury and Mars meet, words can be weapons," Montúfar adds. "So instead of saying something that you're going to regret later once Mercury is direct, shut up, take your clothes off and figure it out in bed."

Might as well give it a try, right? (The best sex toys for couples might be helpful.) 

What happens if you split during retrograde?

Truthfully, if you do end up calling it quits with a partner during this time, it's probably a split that was coming—the universe's way of saying you weren't on the right path. Mercury wouldn't have changed the results one way or another. An ending, though painful, is something that you might need in order to move forward. (But have a look at our expert-backed tips for getting over a breakup if you feel like you need a little TLC.) 

No matter what happens, we know you'll handle Mercury's antics with grace. Chin up, the crazy retrograde is not as chaotic as we've been lead to believe. Do be sure to have a look at the 2023 retrograde calendar to see what planet (or asteroid) is spinning backwards next.

Danielle Valente
Digital News Writer

Need a TV show recommendation? Maybe a few decor tips? Danielle, a digital news writer at Future, has you covered. Her work appears throughout the company’s lifestyle brands, including My Imperfect Life, Real Homes, and woman&home. Mainly, her time is spent at My Imperfect Life, where she’s attuned to the latest entertainment trends and dating advice for Gen Z.

Before her time at Future, Danielle was the editor of Time Out New York Kids, where she got to experience the best of the city from the point of view of its littlest residents. Before that, she was a news editor at Elite Daily. Her work has also appeared in Domino, Chowhound, and amNewYork, to name a few. 

When Danielle’s not writing, you can find her testing out a new recipe, reading a book (suggestions always welcome), or rearranging the furniture in her apartment…again.