Scared of breaking up during Mercury retrograde? Astrologers say there's no need to fret

Believe it or not, breaking up during Mercury retrograde is not as common as you've been led to believe

Woman's and Man's hands representing relationship breakup. Digital composite. Breaking up during mercury retrograde
(Image credit: Getty)

We'd be lying if we said we weren't concerned about breaking up during Mercury retrograde. 

Now that the infamous planet is spinning backwards—the third Mercury retrograde of 2022—we're ready to wave goodbye to our S.O. and plop on the couch with a tub of ice cream and Adele ballads. Should we just make a playlist of the best breakup songs now? 

Plus, our September cosmic calendar indicates it's all about relationships this month, so tensions are even higher than before. Will the celestial troublemaker give us a run for our money in the love department? 

Though daunting, this doesn't mean you should let the smallest planet in the solar system throw you off-kilter. Take a step back (but hang onto that Ben & Jerry's, of course). Although the planet rules communication, that does not mean it's the be-all, end-all of your relationship. In fact, now is probably a good time to make adjustments to your partnership, not call it quits. 

"Mercury retrograde is probably not the best time for a breakup, and that is because it’s probably a better time to introspect and reflect on your contribution to a situation or what you have learned from this place," says astrologer Noush

She continues, "It can be easy to throw your hands up and say, 'We’re done here,' but the beauty of Mercury retrograde, is that it gives us more strength to look inwards and understand a situation with deeper perspective."

Ah, some reassurance. What better gift for astrology fans during this notorious transit? (We are also partial to these Mercury retrograde memes and crystals for Mercury retrograde, just FYI!)

Meet the expert: Noush

An astrologer, creative and crystal enthusiast, Noush believes in the combination of energy healing and practical spirituality to bring meaning into our lives. You can learn more about your cosmic blueprint during an astrology reading with her or shop through an incredible collection of healing crystals @jooncrystals

Breaking up during Mercury retrograde

hearts Red Colored Heart Shaped Paper Craft of love heart power

(Image credit: MirageC/Getty images)

Similarly to Noush, Narayana Montúfar, astrologer and author of Moon Signs: Unlock Your Inner Luminary Power, believes this is not necessarily time to nurse a broken heart, but rather a chance to readjust aspects of your love life that might've been swept under the rug. 

"It's an opportunity to rethink certain issues you don't want to deal with," she says. "It's hard, but the truth is we are just being challenged to find a new solution."

Try editing, not deleting. 

Meet the expert: Narayana Montúfar

Narayana Montúfar is an astrologer and an expert in the astrological studies of the Moon and the author of Moon Signs: Unlock Your Inner Luminary Power. She was one of’s Authority Magazine 2020’s Strong Female Leaders and one of Vogue’s 13 Astrologers to Follow in 2021.

Work on your communication

Since Mercury is the planet of communication, it can often make our relationships feel a little uneasy when in retrograde. Take time to think about the way you speak to a S.O. and think about what you want out of your partnership. Don't be hasty—act cautiously and kindly, even if you're approaching a sensitive topic. 

"It’s definitely a really important planet when we’re talking about relationships because it has everything to do with communication," Noush says. "It’s a time to sit back [and see] how you’re expressing yourself to them. Can you communicate in a way that’s more understanding of their perspective? 

If you're a bit on edge about expressing your views to a partner, Noush says to lend an ear instead. 

"I would say for this particular retrograde, particularly while moving through Libra," she recommends. "Listen more than you speak. I think it's’ a really good time to open your ears and try not to let your mouth run a million words a minute and just hear what somebody is trying to tell you."

Now is the time to take that step back and participate some key retrograde actions: review and revise! (You know the drill.) 

Speech bubbles between two human hands against khaki background.

(Image credit: Boris Zhitkov/Getty Images)

How to avoid Mercury retrograde break-ups

Consider the planetary rough patch as a chance to make things right, but that means you'll have to be cautious with your words.

"If you get really intense, you're probably going to say something you regret," Montúfar warns. 

Now is the time to put yourself in the other person's shoes, as it will lead to more proactive conversations instead of negative ones. 

"Open up the doors for a different type of communication," Noush recommends. "Is there a way to communicate to our partner? Is there a way that we can better understand them?"

In addition to practicing kindness, Montúfar also suggests shedding your clothes, if it feels right, of course.

"When Mercury and Mars meet, words can be weapons," Montúfar adds. "So instead of saying something that you're going to regret later once Mercury is direct, shut up, take your clothes off and figure it out in bed."

Might as well give it a try, right?

What happens if you split during retrograde?

Truthfully, if you do end up calling it quits with a partner during this time, it's probably a split that was coming—the universe's way of saying you weren't on the right path. Mercury wouldn't have changed the results one way or another. An ending, though painful, is something that you might need in order to move forward. 

No matter what happens, we know you'll handle Mercury's antics with grace. Chin up, the crazy retrograde is not as chaotic as we've been lead to believe.

Do be sure to have a look at the 2022 retrograde calendar to see what planet (or asteroid) is spinning backwards next.

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Danielle Valente

Danielle is a writer for woman&home and My Imperfect Life, covering all-things news, lifestyle and entertainment. 

The heart of her time at Future has been devoted to My Imperfect Life, where she's been attuned to the cosmos, new TV shows and relationship trends.  

Before her time at Future, Danielle was the editor of Time Out New York Kids and a news editor at Elite Daily. Her work has also appeared in Domino, Chowhound, amNewYork and Newsday, among other outlets. 

When Danielle is not working, you can usually find her reading a book, coffee at hand, or attempting a new recipe. (Recommendations always welcome!)